My name is Beata Zalewska. I was born in 1980 in Poland, where I also growed up. In Poland, I studied philosophy and, although, I have not finished it due to some personal complications, I am still passionate about it. Then I completed a diploma in a theatre direction. In Poland, I was also involved for 10 years in a research theatre, which included: 2 years of intense work with the creator of the Urban Research Theater (2004-2005), making my own mono-drama (2005) and leading a year of theatre workshop with young people. In 2006 I emigrated to UK and have mostly lived in London, where I worked in pubs, then in government offices and in 2011 I started to study Film and Media. While studying, things went very badly for me (again!) and, eventually, I decided to leave London. Since 2014 I live in a small town in the South of the Netherlands and I got actively involved in the organisation of the Covert Harassment Conference. I also began to learn video editing and, slowly, am starting to work on a documentary film about covert torture.

What do I like: film, philosophy, music, art, travelling, reading, dancing (among other things)

What do I value: the truth, openmindedness, uniqueness

Do I care about the world and why: yes, and I am very concerned about the world as it appears to head towards some insane cathastrophe.



At the beginning of 2014 I began to suspect I am a Targeted Individual. It was extremely difficult realization. For quite some time, I did not want to even believe it as it really seemed so unbelievable and so shocking, but, then, after researching, I had to conclude that this is the only rational and possible explanation of what has happened to me and my life over years.

First, realizing the truth was a relief, but then lots of new problems started to trouble me and the truth hit me with its power and I could not deny it any longer; it was just right there: in my face. Then, on one hand, I felt relieved to realize the truth, but on the other hand, it was deeply painful to accept it.

I still feel very bitter, sad and embarrassed about the fact that I did not realize what has been happening to me for such a long time. As I said above, I only realized it at the beginning of 2014. First, realizing the truth was a relief, but then lots of new problems started to trouble me.

As I mentioned, since 2006 I was living in London and, although throughout all that time, as well as for some years before, my life has been difficult and always complicated I was always a positive person, who deeply loved life and despite any pain would have faith in heart. But, from approximately 2011 everything changed. It was quite surreal and I find it difficult to describe, but it felt, literally, like a controlled demolition of not just my social and working life, but also of my personality and health. First, I could not figure it out, I could not understand it and I even began to think that maybe I am indeed going insane, which in the past seemed to me as something totally not possible. Now, by looking retrospectively at my life and comparing it with other victims stories, I began to conclude that my life was manipulated for rather a while and I see patterns of it.

In 2011 I started to study Film and Media in London and I really loved my studies, and particularly, I was passionate about documentary film. On the first year I was one of the best students in my group, but with the second year, I started to struggle due to various problems (with work, my health, trouble focusing, having bizarre - totally unlike me - sexual fantasies, not being able to sleep, many pains, weird manipulations of my assignments, hearing water leaking, laughs or cows mooing - in London! - and everywhere around me people would be talking constantly about personality disorder, etc) and on the third year in 2014, I just dropped out (similar sequence actually occurred to me when I studied philosophy in Wroclaw, Poland in 2000-2003).

I now think it could have started for me when I visited my father in USA in 2000 for the summer as I've 'miraculously' met there a man, who said he worked for the US government as IT specialist. I was 20 years old and I just walked in on him in the club in Miami and we kissed. I did not give him my phone number, only said my name and two weeks later there was a call to my father's house for me and it was this guy and he said he called almost all people with my surname to find me. We've met a couple of times. Once he took me for a weekend to Orlando and once he visited me in Jacksonville in Florida. Both times, I lost consciousness, but then I though it was because of alcohol. Now, knowing all this, it seems suspicious, especially that even when drinking alcohol many times since, I did not ever loose consciousness just like that.

From 2011 I was also involved with the London Guantanamo Campaign and, apart other actions, have done research mapping the routes to Guantanamo for 20+ prisoners. That was the time when I started feeling depressed, anxious, could not sleep at all for number of nights in a row and would not only, over time, loose my work (I worked for TfL - Transport for London as Licensing Officer and then as Stations Project Development Director's assistant and btw. now I think TfL was very much involved in stalking). Despite trying, I could not find a new job. Also, troubles with people I lived with have began (after over a year living with them peacefully, suddenly, one person would keep attacking me with no serious reason, making it almost impossible for me to relax at the place I lived). It has escalated to the point I needed to move out.

When I finally realized I may be a targeted person, first, I could not believe it. I wondered: why? why me? how is it possible? who would be doing such cruel things to an ordinary person?... It was truly difficult to comprehend and even more to accept. At that time, I actually finally had a therapy with a psychologist and, happy to discover the truth, I shared it with her and she said it is beyond her competencies and suggested referring me to the psychiatrist. I said I do not think it is necessary, but I will consider it. Then, in panic, I travelled to Peter Mooring from the STOPEG Foundation and he provided me with valuable articles and info. Then, I went back to London, met the psychologist again and asked her to read the article written by psychologist Carol Smith and stated, like Peter advised me to, that I can handle it. I also said, that fine, I do not mind to talk to a psychiatrist, providing she will find me one who is aware of those weapons and technologies, as otherwise,  it would be like talking to each other in completely different languages.

A week later, my psychologist said she is 50/50 convinced I am right and, since then, she would never again suggest the psychiatry to me, while my therapy could continue for a few more weeks. In a meantime, I also contacted Barrie Trower, who kindly written a letter to my University and to my doctors (part of this letter likely was taken away from my file by the UK secret service). I also had a serious talk with my University tutor, who knew me fairly well and it seemed she believed me. The same day, I received a message from a landlord that I have to move out, which was rather very bizarre, as I was sharing one big room with a friend and he was paying rent for both of us (always on time) since I lost my job (5 November 2013 - it is another story why at this date). My friend, strangely, was not asked to move out, just me (and, btw., the whole building was owned by some Jewish businessman, who owns many buildings in London).

I had one friend in London, who also believed me, but he knew me for years and we had many deep conversations in the past. My other friends (including so called activists, one of whom told me she has birthday on the same day as me and she studied at the same uni and I though I could trust her), just laughed asking why would I be so special, which was outrageous, as, in my opinion, being tortured is not special, it is cruel.

Since then, I live with Peter and he has been a wonderful support ever since and I am truly, deeply, wholeheartedly grateful as he has saved my life many, many times. I started working with him on the Covert Harassment Conference and now, I would like to start writing letters, FOIs to various bodies, my blog and slowly also create a documentary film about this unbelievably horrible and cruel, hidden torture.

I realize well it will be very difficult. In fact, it has been already difficult to even start. Well, I was not borned a fighter, but because of all this I am being forced to fight this battle: a battle for my life, the life of those I dearly care, life of humanity and life of this beautiful planet.



High percentage of the human body is water and, therefore, it is very easy to cook human beings with the use of microwave weapons; weapons that operate invisibly at the speed of light and are commonly described as non-lethal weapons, while, actually, they can heat a tissue, they can burn and they can also kill... In seconds, invisibly, with no trace...

Cooking a human being is torture or even (a slow motion) murder. Therefore, the hidden operators of those weapons, even if covert by the so called Active Denial System (ADS), are nothing else, but torturers and murderers.

With this brief statement, I want to make it clear to those involved in committing those covert crimes (that btw. are the most horrible crimes ever committed in the human history and, if not stopped within the next decade or so may lead to the end of humanity as we know it) that I never gave, I do not give and I will never give my consent to this nor any other torture and/or experimentation and I strongly request that you STOP COOKING ME, STOP GANG STALKING ME and STOP MIND CONTROLLING ME.

I am not a chicken! And, I am not a guinea pig!

I am a human being.

Respect me.



On this blog I will try to, believing it may help me to overcome the sadness, bitterness and anger, retrospectively look into my life and decode the control factors in it, as well as, time to time, I will be sharing my personal reflections about some of the events, situations, people and things from the world we all share.